


Truly Alone

by Annie46fic



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Study, Drabble, Gen, Season 7 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-22
Updated: 2012-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-05 20:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/410739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie46fic/pseuds/Annie46fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Never in his life has he ever been so truly alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truly Alone

His cell is resolutely silent.

In the darkness of the motel room, drapes pulled tight across the dusty windows, he is truly alone.

There are two beds; a habit perhaps or something deeply ingrained in him. For those six months in Broward County he always paid for a double room, sometimes even ordered two meals, often bought two cups of coffee. He wasn’t used to being alone then but he is now.

He is truly alone.

Even back in Broward he had calls from Bobby, knew that Jo was out there somewhere, that Ellen would answer his summons if he picked up his cell. Back then, he had only just discovered there were other hunters, a whole network of them. Knowing others were out there was somehow comforting and although he never bothered to contact any of them, they were there none the less.

He is truly alone.

After Dean went to hell, there was still Bobby, even though he was often drunk and angry. There was Ruby too, Ruby who offered so much more than just companionship, Ruby whose body was always cold, whose blood tasted like nectar, who both built him up and destroyed him and was as gone as all the others.

He is truly alone.

After they separated, he got bar work and Lindsey was there to comfort him both physically and mentally. He couldn’t get out of hunting even then but he was strong enough to do it alone. He still had Bobby to call though, still had connections with the hunter network, still had his brother at the end of the phone, his angry voice telling Sam what he didn’t really need to know.

He is truly alone.

When he crawled out of the pit, he didn’t much care that there was no one. He found Bobby, found his grandfather, joined the Campbell’s in the hunt. He knew his brother was out there even if he wasn’t that bothered, happy to leave him to his domesticity, knew he wouldn’t be of any use. His soulless self hadn’t minded being alone, had relished it. Being alone had made him a better hunter and he hadn’t even bothered to pick up the phone.

He is truly alone.

Wall down and committed and his brother was there most days; Dean had assured him he would solve his problem, that he would find a way to make Sam better. He hadn’t been alone then, hadn’t been alone truly, since his wall had come down. Lucifer had been with him 24/7, talking to him, singing to him, his companion in everything.

Now even Lucifer was gone; his world was silent, dark and so fucking lonely.

He is truly alone.

There are no angels for him to call; Cas is with Dean wherever he is and the garrison are dead. Balthazar is long gone, Gabriel too and Sam never thought he would long to see them, either of them. He would give anything to hear that mocking voice again, to have Gabriel trick him, to see The incredible hulk or a faux alien.

There are no demons. Ruby cold and rotting in a crypt in Ilchester Maryland, Meg gone who knows where, Crowley mocking and smug would never answer his call.

There are no hunters he can trust; Rufus, Ellen, Jo, Bobby even Frank are dead and gone. He barely knows Garth and he doesn’t have many other contacts. When he scrolls through his cell, the very nature of his predicament makes him almost sick with fear and he feels his legs shake, his body tremble, breath coming hard and fast as he smashes the cell against the wall and falls onto the bed furthest away from the wall, habits of a lifetime still strong.

The night brings nothing but inky blackness and out there, somewhere the Leviathans still walk. Dick may be gone but the others have not and someone has to destroy them, someone has to contain them, someone has to save humanity and it has to be Sam.

He rolls over and stares hard into the darkness, sees the bed by the door, empty and flat, there is no knife under that pillow, no stupid porn mag on the bedside table, no amulet for him to wear against his skin, warm and comforting, to remind him that his brother once was there and would be there again. He swallows back tears, knows he has to be strong this time, no powers, no whiskey, no support network. Nothing. Just one Winchester brother and a whole lot of problems.

He is truly alone.

End


End file.
